break even

Thinks work out. Always.

Now, this doesn’t mean that you can just sit around and wait for the world to happen. I mean… I guess you could, but wouldn’t it be boring?

But when I work my ass off, things just happen. I can feel completely lost and hopeless, and suddenly the pieces fall into place and everything works out.

Fate, god, karma… whatever. Good things happen. Always.

This is why I’m able to survive without freaking out constantly. Relax. Do what you’re supposed to. Be nice to people. Roll with the punches. Everything will be fine.

Some people don’t live by this philosophy. Some people don’t understand this philosophy.

Some people get off on freaking people out. I think that’s poor form.

Why fear monger when you can strengthen one another? Why bother spreading panic and anxiety when instead you can share experiences and build together?

I’ve spent a lot of time lately focusing on the idiocy of fear mongering. It’s the way of life in medical school, especially around finals. And it drives me crazy. Like… pull my hair out and scream kind of crazy.

But I’ve lost too much energy by fixating on people who live to break others down. I’m ready to turn my focus inward. I need to build my strength, not focus on the weakness of others.

Go to class or don’t. Pass or fail. Rock or roll. Love or hate. In the end, it all breaks even.

And so, as we enter this final stretch of MS1, I’m distancing myself from those who wish to bring me down. I’m taking time to embrace and build myself. I’m surrounding myself with positivity and wholeness. I’m spending more time away from school.

I am thankful for my girlfriends every single day. They are strength and beauty and sensibility. They may be the only people I talk to for the next twelve days. I can dig it.

Now… tea, flashcards, incense + peppermints. Time to study.

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