I think I could be a prof. I think it goes something like this…

Wake up, drink some coffee, drive to school being real proud of who you are and the roll you are playing in the lives of America’s future doctors.

Teach. This part’s easy… Just talk for an hour about something you find mildly interesting… Maybe spend 45 minutes on lead today, maybe resveritol.

Tell your students to study the notes and learning objectives that you made. Make sure that these things, along with the PowerPoint, are completely unintelligible. Forget that you wrote them back in ’92. Move on with your life.

Write the exam. This is probably the hardest part of the job… But it’s ok because you love it. Write questions about things you find interesting. Make sure there are some K-type mixed in to throw those neurotic med students off their game. Make sure your questions test little strange details to see if your students can read your mind. Make sure not to ask a single question about anything you emphasized in class… Especially the “guaranteed TQs” you handed out. Make sure not to ask a single clinical question, mostly because you want to prove how menial the lives if your students will become.

Sit back and bask in your awesomeness. You are so cool. Really.

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